Friday, November 4, 2011

02. thankful - CCE.

honestly, things haven't been going that great with the high schoolers as of late. after confirmation, our class went from 30 to 5. and it's really frustrating because i know most of them can't drive yet so it's pretty much up to their parents if they come or not. and if they don't come to class, do their parents even take them to mass? but you know, this same thing happened with my own parish growing up. like 120 of us got confirmed. and that was that, any obligation, any need of going to church and CCE had been fulfilled for the rest of their lives.  

i don't think the parents even see or understand how important CCE class is, especially for this age group. high school is hard. and our faith is so not meant to be lived alone but for most of these kids, our 75 minutes together, is the extent of any faith building, spiritual share time, focused prayer, biblical learning type of thing for their whole week. but if only their parents could hear what we've talked about in class, the things their high schooler prays for, their hopes and worries. if only they could see how eager their children are to share the details of their lives with me.  and if only they knew how much their child wishes to share and talk about this stuff with them.

before confirmation our class was so hopeful and energetic. they were always talking and sharing and asking questions. not to boast or anything, but i think my age and hopefully, my relatability and honesty, influenced the direction of our class a lot. i felt like i was doing something right. i couldn't stop thinking how easy this whole teaching thing was.

oh, but our class is totally opposite now. and i'm actually thankful that teaching this class isn't easy. sometimes i feel really inadequate. actually, all the time. they challenge me more than nursing school in someways. but i am so blessed by the three girls that come every week without fail. they are so full of love and energy. i've been really trying to work on helping them open up to each other and getting them to lead prayer out loud since that's how we begin and end every class. and then last week, much to surprise one of the girls offered to close us in prayer. her voice was shaky and almost a whisper, but she thanked Him for our class, our time together, and for me. my heart skipped a heat. that was all i needed. more than i could have ever asked for. that moment, those words spoken, will sustain me for the rest of this year. 
i'm going to continue to invest in them, giving them all i've got, the most real and honest version of me. 

1 friskies:

Caitlin said...

the way cce is set up really sucks. the church totally needs to make it a life-long thing - it seems like such a great way to meet people when you're older! not to mention grow in your faith. but obviously you know all my opinions towards this. we've just gotta work with what we've got for now. i'm sure you're doing a great job!!